Hear no evil, see no evil and say no evil

For the past 21 years, I had been on the fringe of the church community. What it means is that I was not part of the inner circle of the church. I attended the same church service week in and week out. I contributed financially. I contributed my time and service on the fringe.

Things change when we started to attend GKY. I am trying to stay on the fringe but it is getting harder and harder.

Why I prefer to be on the fringe? On the fringe it is easier to hear no evil, see no evil and say no evil. As a child, my family was the "church royalty" sort of speak, part of the inner circle. I saw and heard too much that it's a wonder I did not rebel against the church.

My attitude I realized, however, made it hard to have close connection with others in the church. It is well received, ties between two people are stronger once the two started to share confidences. In a church community sadly, the confidences shared is confidential information about other people instead of personal. It's difficult to resist. I may have fallen into the trap a couple of times. I think I'd better get one of these 'see no evil, hear no evil and say no evil' figurine as a reminder at the door before I leave home.

Clergy Compensation

How much should a clergy be paid. How much is too much? It so happen, a number of my friend from IBC left the church because they thought that IBC overpaid the previous pastor and seem to be continuing the policy, in their opinion. Christian clergies are not required to take a vow of poverty like clergies in other Asian religions. However, in Asia especially, Christians frown upon clergy who are well paid and are not living a frugal and modest life. It is almost expected that they follow other religious leaders, like the Budhist monk, the Hindu priest, and the Tao priest, and live like a poor man. How much is too much?

In Singapore clergy pay is tied to his/her qualification, i.e. education and experience. A clergy's pay is at the same pay level of an academia. It so happen, Singapore is one of those places where its university professors are among the highest paid in the world. Thus clergies with doctorate degrees can assume at least a six figure sum. And I believe this is a good practice.

In Indonesia, clergy's official pay is not very high. However, clergies do receive various in-kind gifts and red packets from various church members. I personally believe this is a distasteful practice on the giver part. Church members who think that their pastor is not paid enough should use the official channels to push for higher clergy pay package instead of giving cash gifts to their pastor. I'm not sure how clergies feel when they receive a cash gift, but here is my experience.

My husband and I have a personal experience receiving cash gift (we are not clergy). In 2000, after working for two years, the company my husband worked for gave him a bonus enough for the down payment of our first HDB flat. After paying the down payment, minor repairs on the flat, and other fees, we only had $500 left in our bank account for food and transport until the next pay day. We used our credit card to the limit to purchase necessary appliances like refrigerator washing machine and moved into our flat with no TV or sofa. Our family gave us some money which we use to buy a sofa and a TV. We needed the money, however, the gift from our family left us with a bad taste. It felt like a charity. My pride was hurt.

When a cash gift come from an employer, the recipient feel a sense of pride and that the gift is reward for a job well done instead of a form of charity. Pastors and evangelists in Indonesia deserve more than they are getting. It is disrespectful to pay them so little that they are made to swallow their pride and receive cash gifts to boost up their income.

So, how much should a clergy be paid? Enough so that when they go to dinner with their member at a restaurant, they too have the economic power to pay for the dinner, said a pastor I personally know.

A phoney, a megalomaniac and a genuine article

What is the difference between a phoney, a megalomaniac, and a genuinely kind good person. Not much apparently according to several behavioral scales. All three will show high scores on the social desirability scale as well as the lie scale. Generally, a liar, a megalomaniac and a religious person will show the same profile on both scales. The question is, is that how Christians who genuinely try to lead a godly life are perceived: as either a phoney or a megalomaniac? Probably. What are Christians to do then to dispel this perception? Not much but it is important to look inside your heart, and see who is sitting on the throne. Yourself or God? The rest should be taken care by itself.

Finally Found the Nerve

I finally found the nerve to publish my blog entry on Seranggoon Garden. Click here to read it. I hope it will not get me in trouble.

Occupational hazzard

Being a student of human behavior has its hazards and advantages. One of the advantage is I can analyzed behavior with some degree of precision. After all people like me are trained to notice both verbal and non-verbal communication, overt and covert behavior, and make hypothesizes base on them. This grounding is especially emphasized this semester as I have to submit video tapes of myself administering psychological assessment. I did well on most areas such as accuracy in administering, scoring, statistical analysis, report writing accuracy, and attending behavior but I lost 2 marks for not picking out and recording some non-verbal cues.

Too much acuity can have its drawback. People like me can over-analyze situation and come to the wrong hypothesis or conclusion. I can also be overly sensitive -something my husband mention quite often. It doesn't matter how accurate or how off base I am, understanding too much can get in the way of social life. This is especially true when I demand authenticity and sincerity from my relations.

In the past few weeks different people came up to me and said that I looked so much like so and so who was a prominent figure in this particular community. This person also happened to be a non-blood relative of mine. I also know that she is not the most popular figure in certain quarter. In psychology there is a theory called transference (click here to read about transference). I wonder whether I will notice some transference.

Meeting my benefactor - Part 2

My benefactor, he is a changed man. Eighteen years ago when I told him that Fuller Seminary School of Psychology offered me a place in their Marriage and Family Therapy PhD program, he laughed and said that's a second rate program from a second rate school. He told me I should aim at Clinical Psychology program at UCLA. Well, as you know I ended up not going to any of the several graduate schools I secured a place in.

We got to talk for a little bit, but I sense, now that he is in retirement, he is focusing all his energy in full time ministry equipping future bible teachers. He is passionate about ministry to the mainland Chinese people, and he is also passionate about lay people being equipped with solid biblical teaching.

Had I have the chance to tell him that my major accomplishment in the past 18 years constituted only in bringing my two children to Christ, he'd have been proud of me.

When I look at his past and present, I remember my favorite passage from Oswald Chambers's My Utmost for His Highest, February 5th and 6th entries which says,

"It is one thing to go on the lonely way with dignified heroism. but quite another thing if the line mapped out for you by God means being a door-mat under other people's feet ... 'Bind the sacrifice with cords, even unto the horns of the altar.' The altar means fire-burning and purification and insulation for one purpose only, the destruction of every affinity that God has not started and of every attachment that is not an attachment in God. You do not destroy it, God does; you bind the sacrifice to the horns of the altar; and see that you do not give way to self-pity when the fire begins. After this way of fire, there is nothing that oppresses or depresses. When the crisis arises, you realize that things cannot touch you as they used to do."

He is binding the sacrifice with cords unto the horns of the altar.