Do I Make You Proud

"Do I Make You Proud" is the song sung by an American Idol winner, Taylor Hick. It is a song sung to either parents, parent figure, teachers, or anybody who played a significant role in a persons' life.

The months of November-January are months when examination results are released in Singapore. It is the time to celebrate the accomplishment of the young people in the academic world. Many will anxiously ask, "Do I make you proud?" Some are unsure due to failure to enter a more prestigious institution. Some are unsure due to failure secure a seat in a "coveted" programme. Some are just chasing bench mark and expectation from parents that keeps going up year by year.

If you are parents with school age children, make sure you tell your children "I am proud of what you have done." By doing this parents release their children to take ownership of their academic accomplishment. It becomes the children's responsibility and in the long run, they'll work even harder for their own sake.

Some parents will disagree, "What if my child's result is just mediocre because they did not put in enough effort?" The truth of the matter is, if the child attend school regularly, hand in assignments regularly, and sit for the long hours of exam, all those took great effort. It should not be discredited because his/her results is not stellar when compared to other students. After all, we are not all born geniuses.

What to do when your child fail miserably? Commiserate with them. They are sure to be miserable too. They need comfort instead of chastise. When parents commiserate, instead of chastise, poor results, the child feels that there is someone in his corner. This will energize him.

Listen!

Listen! This entry is for parents with teenagers or young adults. The song was originally sung by Beyonce Knowles in the movie Dream Girls but it struck a chord in the hearts of parents like myself when it was sung by then 16-year-old Charise Pempengco. Charise expressed the frustration of teenagers on the verge of adulthood trying to break out of the mold prepared by others, most likely the parents.

My advice: dear parents, put away the mold you have been preparing. Our children are people, not cake batter. They are created in God's image. God has a good plan for them. Our job is simply to teach them to always seek that blueprint God has prepared for them. Encourage them to be always in right relationship with God.

Once Bitten Twice Shy

The idiom "Once Bitten Twice Shy" means when someone has been hurt once, he or she would do everything to avoid getting hurt again by the same person. While most people rarely had that experience because of once bitten twice shy, this attitude is highly contrary to the biblical command to forgive 70 times seven times. It is implicit in the command that we do not banish those who had hurt us far far away so that they could not inflict another pain. Otherwise, how else would we have the chance to offer repeat forgiveness?

Unforgiving attitude is the underlying reason for the practice of one bitten, twice shy. The true measure of a forgiving heart is the willingness to expose ourselves over and over again to the offending party even with the awareness of the possibility of another injury. It is a tough order to follow. But then remember, our redeemer paid a high price for the forgiveness of our sins which we commit over and over again. As we were given so many second chances, let's commit to give others equal measure of second chances beginning from this holy week.

Evaluating a Ministry

How do we evaluate the value of a ministry? This is a question many christians and churches struggle with. Many resort to measuring only the things that are countable which include cost effectiveness, numerical growth of attendance, number of new converts, number of newly baptized member, growth in offering taking, and many more. When a ministry is not meeting the numerical expectation, support is withdrawn and the future of the ministry is in jeopardy.

In serving Christ, it is human to look at only what can be measured and judge the worth of ones service in the number. The work of the holy spirit often is intrinsic in nature, and it is highly private in nature. People don't always shout out when they receive spiritual blessings; therefore the work of the spirit is difficult to measure.

Does that mean time and resources continue to be expended in the absence of visible results? Decisions have to be entered in prayerfully. But for those of us who are experiencing apparent doldrum in the areas we are serving, take heart. Our faithfulness does not go unnoticed in God's eye. The number may not adds up. Support may be withdrawn. As long as we are confident we are doing God's work, the time and resources we spent is not wasted. People may think us a fool. But "God is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose" (Jim Elliot).

Name Dropping and Connection

Name dropping is the practice of mentioning names of important figures in a conversation for a variety of purpose which include to establish one's status, superiority, credibility, authority, and connection. When you are new in a social circle, often the easiest way to gain entry is to mention that you know or you are related to so and so to establish some common association. It is that "guan xi" or "koneksi" element essential in Asian society.

The important of connection is not just an Asian phenomena. In the Victorian England, it is very important also to have connection in high places to get things done or to gain the acquaintance of "atas" people. In the modern US, the lobbyist industry is also hinged on this same concept. The lobbyists essentially are selling their connection with policy makers in the Senate/Congress so that industry players can be connected with policy makers important to their businesses.

When I started to join GKY Singapore, I was determined that I wanted to be known as who I was and not who I was connected to. In the process, I have gained true friends who see me as a person and who take interest to find out who I am. However, there were a number of occasions (only rarely fortunately) where people became more interested in me only after it was revealed that I was related to so and so. On two occasions happened recently, friends dropped a name into the conversation in a bid to rescue me from being brushed off by another party. I guess the church is not immune to this.

In a community of believers, it should be enough that we are all connected to one another in Christ. In fact, that should be the one thing we want to establish first when we meet people: that we are believers of Jesus Christ. Further, people should take interest in other people so that we can support one another, and pray for each other.

Ivy and Holy

The Ivy League, which comprises of Harvard, Yale, UPenn, Princeton, Cornell, Brown, Dartmouth, and Columbia, is considered the school to go to. You are almost guaranteed colourful career prospects if you are graduates of these schools. Though founded by Christians, these schools has eschewed Christian beliefs in preference for liberalism and intellectual skepticism. My question always is, how the young men and women's Christian faith going to stand in the midst of such intellectual environment that for the most part is at odds with Christian beliefs. Will it put the students in a place where they constantly have to defend their faith? And how will they fare. Will they get discouraged and end up being swept away, or will they come out stronger Christians?

Many criticize the Holies (Christians schools) to be hothousing their young men and women. They viewed schools such as Wheaton College and Calvin College like greenhouses. The critics argue, just as greenhouse plants are unable to survive outside, young men and women graduates of Christian colleges will also have difficulties withstanding the frigid and hostile climate of the real world. I am a product of a Christian education. What I found in my alma mater, Calvin College, were an abundance of Godly professors who cared about the development of the students' world view. These professors have deep rooted belief and in-depth knowledge of the bible. They are able to lucidly define how the discipline they are teaching relate to God's word. They never fail to bring up controversies brought about by differences in the fundamental tenets. In almost all final exams, there is always a question that look like this: "How do you reconcile so and so's view of this and that issue with this verse in the bible. I believed that instead of hot housing, the Christian colleges gave vaccination by exposing the students to world views that are different from the bible in a controlled manner. As a result of the exposure, Christian college graduates go into the world aware of how the Christian belief is perceived by the world, and they are prepared to give answer.

To those parents whose children are heading to the Ivy, take heart!! The Ivy Leagues turn out to be not so hostile an environment. The article found in this link gave a glimpse of how Christians fare in an Ivy school. It is comforting to know that even in liberal Ivy League schools, there are flourishing Christian communities where Christian students find supports. Even so however, parents who are sending off their children to a secular and liberal schools should do their job well in preparing their children by making sure that they are firmly rooted in their Christian beliefs.

Tithing

I started writing this entry in October 2009. It has been languishing in the draft folder ...

"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it." (Malachi 3:10)

I saw a brief exchange between two friends on facebook on the issue of tithing that specifically mentioned the verse. Both agreed that the verse had often been misinterpreted. Over the years, I have heard different interpretations depending on who made the discourse.

The first group of people are those who are struggling to give even 10%. These people think that 10% is not an absolute number because the verse is from the old testament. The other belongs to those who believe that 10% is actually the minimum requirement. They believe that 10% is what rightfully belong to God. If you tithed, you have not even begun with your giving. Still there are those who object to the verse because it insinuates a quid pro quo, an exchange between God and the believers. Others object to tithing that is seen as a lure to get God to open the floodgates of heaven. Or the other way round, some believers resent being enticed to tithe by a promise that heaven floodgate will be opened for them.

The one thing that Christians often forget is that by dying on the cross, Jesus has redeemed us. He bought us and the price is fully paid. "Jesus paid it all, [and now] all to him I owe," goes the lyric of a song and I agree with that. All we own belongs to God. This is the spirit by which we should interpret Malachi 3:10.