Prayer Request

This issue has been on my mind for quite some time especially now that GKY Singapore has started a bi-monthly prayer meeting. At issue is how to prevent the floor for individual prayer request from becoming into a gossip proliferation event. This is how I observed it happened. In the past cell-group meetings (not in GKY), whenever the floor was open for prayer request submission, quite a number of the prayer requests mentioned were not by the first person. For example, someone will say, "Please pray for our friend ... so and so, who is struggling with ... this and that." It was not always clear whether this was mentioned in the cell-group at the individual's request. I also observed, there were people who habitually mention such second hand prayer requests, but rarely brought up personal ones. In my opinion, individual prayer request forum should be opened with clear guidelines so that it will not turn into a sanctioned gossiping in the name of praying for one another.

Dawn Waking

"He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:2-3)

I was reminded of this experience with both my children when they were between 2 to 3 years old. Occasionally, especially when the child was getting new teeth, the discomfort would wake the child up at dawn. What to do when it's 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning, you desperately need your sleep and your toddler are standing by your bed with a blanket in hand? The experts say that you should walk the child to his/her bedroom and firmly tell the child to go back to sleep. I found following this advice would generate resistance and prevent you from resuming your sleep because he/she will just walk back to your bedroom and wake you up again. What the child want is a comforting embrace from the parents. By inviting the child to crawl into the bed and hold the child, both parent and child resume sleep faster.

I have woken up at 4 o'clock in the morning almost every night lately and couldn't get back to sleep. My personal worries came swirling around. I worry about a lot of things especially my research project and my family.

What to do? Naturally, as a Christian, I use these times, when sleep will not come, to pray. However, the thing that really helps me to get back to sleep is the mental imagery of myself crawling into God's embrace like a small child and find comfort there. I am truly grateful for a heavenly Father who is able to take care of my needs. I am also humbled by this privilege to come to Him with any little silly things that cause me to worry unnecessarily.

Jaywalking

Jaywalking in the school zone should be banned because it sets a very bad example and it endangers the children who witness it. It will undo all the efforts that the school are doing by bringing children to the Road Safety Park to learn safety on the road. That said, the traffic police should impose a stiff fine to people who jaywalk anywhere within 100 meters of a primary school. Enforcement should also be increased and if necessary school staffs should be roped in to police the intersections near schools.

Nostalgia

Every newly wed should have a first year together like ours. Two weeks after our wedding, we moved to a new town where we knew nobody and it was located on the other side of the earth far from where all our families and friends were. The transplant to a new place gave us space to adjust to live together without much interference from our original family and non-mutual friends. There, we were known as "Stefanus and Fitri" instead of "Stefanus and his wife" or "Fitri and her hubby." We had an excellent beginning 17 years ago. It helped of course that we spent it in one of the most beautiful towns in the world and met the people who become our life-long friends.

Borderline IQ and Domestic Workers

What does it mean to be of borderline IQ? Borderline is lower than below average, but higher than mental retardation. Not all, but many domestic workers in Indonesia are of this level of intellectual ability. To learn a new skill, people with borderline IQ require explicit teaching with many repetitions and example in different settings for the skill to be permanently in place. They usually have poor memory retention ability and have poor habits of the mind. (Click here for 16 Habits of Mind)

What happen when domestic workers with borderline IQ are exported to a country where the language is not familiar to them and there are a lot of things they need to learn to do and operate? Some become depressed and vent out their frustration onto their young charges. Some just trudge along, frustrate their employers, and bore the brunt of the employers' frustration. As a result, incidents of child abuse by maids and abuse to maids by employers happen on a regular basis in Singapore.

What are we to do? If you are an employer, know your maid's limitation and try to bear that in mind when you are assigning responsibilities or teaching her new skills. Here are some tips:

1. Provide step by step instruction in pictures, symbols, or diagram instead of words.
2. Break down complex task into smaller tasks and provide A-B-C and 1-2-3 chart for tasks that require certain sequence.
3. Prepare weekly and daily tasks time table.
   
4. For important tasks, provide picture or symbolic reminders.