By Invitation Only

To serve God in His church is a priviledge. It is such a priviledge opportunity that it should be strictly by invitation only. But whose invitation? God's invitation of course!!! However, in many churches, especially Chinese churches in Indonesia, the invitation to serve often does not come first from God, but from a handful of people who are already within the church organization. It is after being invited by a mere human, people will then start to contemplate to serve. The practice I believe undermines the powerful work of the holy spirit. There seem to be no avenue for less well connected Christians to answer God's calling to serve in the church while on the other hand, some individuals are installed in certain positions for life as it seems. Opportunity to serve, therefore is limmited to how good is your networking in the church first and foremost, instead of genuine calling from God.

I would like to see, one of these days, open invitation to the whole congregation be issued so that an unknown individuals who are called by God, can nominate oneself or be nominated by another, for leadership positions or any other positions, and go through the complete vetting process. Of course this process is highly complicated and churches need to have a clearly defined, objective and most importantly biblical selection process. This, I realise, is also a risky endeavour as current church officials may have the balance of their working chemistry tipped to another side. I believe predictability is not God's design for His church. God wants us to have faith in Him in whatever situation He chose to bring our way. I believe it is time to hand over the control of the church back into God's hand. And one way to do it, to let God work freely in choosing His workers.

To serve is by invitation only: God's invitation.

Chivalry in Singapore Men

There is yet another reason I found why Chinese Singaporean men are not appealing to the local women folks: lack of chivalry. What is chivalry? Chivalrous conduct according to the Merriam Webster dictionary is " marked by gracious courtesy and high-minded consideration especially to women." This is severely lacking in Chinese Singaporean men of all ages. Here is my weekly experience.

Once a week I go to the supermarket at Dawson Place. To access the car park, you have to take the elevator. In front of the elevators are benches usually occupied by men/women taking a rest. These people are usually middle aged and Chinese. Now if you know Singapore, you know that the isles in the supermarkets are very narrow, so most of the time, I use a basket instead of a shopping cart. Often I will have 5 plastic bags of groceries in each hand at the end of my shopping trip. At the elevator, I sometime has problem pressing the lift button without putting down all five bags.

From the glass on the lift doors, I can tell that the men sitting on the bench noticed my predicament and enjoying themselves at my expense. In the US, when a man sees a woman heavy laden with groceries, they will offer assistance. At the least they will help me press the button.

I witness the most un-chivalrous behavior last week. I was once again heavy laden with groceries. I was not 5/6 steps from the lift. A young man in office garb was in the lift already, so I asked him to wait and quicken my step. I notice the man was pressing a button in the lift repeatedly. One would assume that he was pressing the "door open" button. I almost did not make it. When I entered the lift, I noticed, his index finger was on the "door-close" button. He had no intention to wait for me. How unchivalrous.

How about the Malay and Tamil/Indian men of Singapore? My account is limited to my experience with taxi drivers of all race groups. My children was 4 and 2 at the time. I did grocery shopping also once a week. Usually, I would safely deposit my two little ones in the lift lobby with my 4-year-old holding on to my 2-year-old who was prone to run off. Then I would start to get the bags from the trunk of the taxi. A Malay or Tamil/Indian driver never fail, I repeat, never fail to get out of his seat and help me bring in the bags into the lift lobby. But a Chinese taxi driver, most of the time, will remain in the air-conditioned car and left the unloading to myself.

Grooming One's Daughter

This post is especially for those with daughters who are coming of age soon. Are you grooming your daughter? For what purpose?

I often see young girls about 16+ years old wearing branded items from head to toe and wonder, what the mother is thinking? What would happen if the girl can't afford those branded goods on her own when she left home. Well today I found out the reason: to position the girl well in the married mart. The idea is, if you groom her to look expensive, the poor chap will be scared off, and the rich chap will find her suitable. The idea is so Victorian but it is still being practiced among the creme de la creme of society, especially among Chinese Indonesian.

It makes me sick especially when the extensive extrinsic grooming is not balance with equally intensive intrinsic grooming. What you end up with is a self-centered and well-groomed future Tai Tais who baulk at hardship and bring misery to those who cross their paths. Is it not more important to groom our girls to be a woman of strong faith, loving character and firm integrity, who can stand strong even in the midst of hardship?

Pet Peeves: Left Behind

If I kept all the items my guests left behind, I could open a shop. Over the years, overnight guests have come and go. Often, they bought too many stuff, they had to leave behind some personal items. Some will say, later when so and so come, ask her/him to bring along. That so and so come and they too have too many item to bring home. The items left behind are usually old pajamas, old boxer shorts, thong slipper (sandal jepit) or other old footwear, bottles of shampoo, foam, hair-spray, leftover food, T-shirt, magazines, newspaper, old towels, local coins (1 cents and 5 cents), receipts of their purchases and the packaging, and many more.

Most will just leave their unwanted items without further instruction. Some have the audacity to ask me to keep them so that on the next visit, they don't need to bring the items again. In space scarce Singapore homes, do we need other people unwanted items to look after? No matter what they say, the truth is those items are left behind because they are not as wanted as the ones brought home. What were they thinking? Do my guests actually believe that I will gleefully look at the "loot" and say, "Goodie, half a bottle of Pantene, hmmmm ... half a carton of juice, oo0h... oo0h... cold hard coins, hair-spray ... yipeee, sandal jepit... hooraaaay?" Sigh ...

Simple Gift by Elder Joseph Brackett

During this economic melt-down, are you afraid to down grade?  Will you lose face if you don't have that latest branded handbag or shoes?  Or will you be embarrassaed to move from a condo to an HDB flat.  I once read an article about a young man who everyday would remove his HDB season parking ticket before he leaves the HDB car park for fear of being found out that he has downgraded to an HDB flat.

The lyrics of "Simple Gift" is as follows:

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free,

'Tis the gift to come down where you ought to be,

And when we find ourselves in the place just right,

'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.

When true simplicity is gain'd,

To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,

To turn, turn will be our delight,

Till by turning, turning we come round right.

This song from the Shakers community has been a strong influence and it has proven time after time to save me from a lot of potential trouble in life. When you learn the art of simplicity, no matter what life throw you, you are still on a firm ground. You will not feel the ground disappearing from under you.

What does it mean to be simple and free? My interpretation of the song may be different from the Shakers', but basically to me it means to simply be your authentic self without any pretense or trappings that are not congruent with your true self.  Unfortunately, we live in a noisy world where ideas of who one should be are often defined by the media.