Chivalry in Singapore Men

There is yet another reason I found why Chinese Singaporean men are not appealing to the local women folks: lack of chivalry. What is chivalry? Chivalrous conduct according to the Merriam Webster dictionary is " marked by gracious courtesy and high-minded consideration especially to women." This is severely lacking in Chinese Singaporean men of all ages. Here is my weekly experience.

Once a week I go to the supermarket at Dawson Place. To access the car park, you have to take the elevator. In front of the elevators are benches usually occupied by men/women taking a rest. These people are usually middle aged and Chinese. Now if you know Singapore, you know that the isles in the supermarkets are very narrow, so most of the time, I use a basket instead of a shopping cart. Often I will have 5 plastic bags of groceries in each hand at the end of my shopping trip. At the elevator, I sometime has problem pressing the lift button without putting down all five bags.

From the glass on the lift doors, I can tell that the men sitting on the bench noticed my predicament and enjoying themselves at my expense. In the US, when a man sees a woman heavy laden with groceries, they will offer assistance. At the least they will help me press the button.

I witness the most un-chivalrous behavior last week. I was once again heavy laden with groceries. I was not 5/6 steps from the lift. A young man in office garb was in the lift already, so I asked him to wait and quicken my step. I notice the man was pressing a button in the lift repeatedly. One would assume that he was pressing the "door open" button. I almost did not make it. When I entered the lift, I noticed, his index finger was on the "door-close" button. He had no intention to wait for me. How unchivalrous.

How about the Malay and Tamil/Indian men of Singapore? My account is limited to my experience with taxi drivers of all race groups. My children was 4 and 2 at the time. I did grocery shopping also once a week. Usually, I would safely deposit my two little ones in the lift lobby with my 4-year-old holding on to my 2-year-old who was prone to run off. Then I would start to get the bags from the trunk of the taxi. A Malay or Tamil/Indian driver never fail, I repeat, never fail to get out of his seat and help me bring in the bags into the lift lobby. But a Chinese taxi driver, most of the time, will remain in the air-conditioned car and left the unloading to myself.