Millionaire Pets

Have you ever heard a story of a pet who inherit millions of dollars while the benefactor's closest relative, sometimes the progeny, is only allowed to take salaries from the pet's millions as the pet caretakers? At the heart is that the pet is more precious than the human relatives, and that its preservation receives utmost priority.

Thank goodness that stories like the above are rare. However, there are other stories around us, or maybe even in our lives, where different kind of 'pet' is involved. The pet could take other forms but the fundamental elements of the story is the same. You have a person of power or wealth who has a 'pet.' His/her final wish is for the preservation of the 'pet' at any cost, even at the cost of hurting the feeling of the immediate family members, shattering their dreams, breaking their relationships, and undermining their aspirations.

These 'pets' often are something more worthy of one's dedication than mere animals. I am talking about businesses. Most Asian business owners desire that their children will step up to the plate and take over the business. This phenomena are found not only among businessmen of my parents' generation. In fact, business owners across generations are contemplating the same issue. Nowadays, it is going to be especially more difficult since families have fewer children. What if none of your children have that aspiration? Forcing your child to take over a business is not much different from forcing them to takeover the care of an unwanted pet.

What's wrong with selling the business and let your children follow their own dreams and chart their own courses? Forcing your children to do something that they are not interested in will end up hurting the business anyway. Think about it. The people forced to take care of your 'pet' might feed your precious one slowly with arsenic that it will die a slow and painful death. Isn't it better to leave your 'pet' with people who truly love the job and will work hard to ensure its longevity? In the right hand, your 'pet' might even be given a chance to multiply.

On being a parent - Part 2

Parents wish for a lot of good things for their children. Some of the things parents often inquire was how to have a creative child, how to develop child with a super brain, how to increase IQ. I am often asked of what I think of the Sichida method, the whole brain activation method, the middle brain development method, the MindChamp program, the Tony Buzan mind mapping program and many more. Questions like these came from Christians and non-Christians alike. While there is nothing wrong in wanting to develop one's child cognitive functioning, it is sad that it prevails over the need to inculcate important values. The sad truth is no one has ever asked me about how to have a child of strong faith, a child who has fear of the Lord in his/her heart, or what program are there to develop a child with characters such as integrity, honesty, compassion, generosity, and perseverance.

Well, nobody is asking, but this opinionated aunty will say something about it anyway.

The first and most important step is to have Jesus firmly enthroned in the child's heart. It is the one thing that has eternal values. What can one do as parents to ensure that one's children will come to accept Jesus as their savior and give his/her life to the Lord? Get on your knees and pray incessantly. When, where and how one become a Christian is not within any human's control. The timing is in God's hand. But praying for one's own child's salvation is one prayer that a Christian is justified to pray over and over again. After we pray, does that mean that we should just sit back relax and wait for God to take action? Absolutely not.

At the very least, children need to receive some form of Christian teachings. Making sure they attend Sunday school and other children program like AWANA (Approved Workmen Are Not Afraid) is good. However, our duty as parents does not rest there. Deuteronomy 6:6-9 says:

These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.

Essentially according to the verses above, we are first to have the word of God in our hearts. Then we are told to talk about the word of God with our children. Finally, and this is the most important, we are to 'wear' our belief in God (tie them up as symbols on your hands and ... foreheads), which I interpret as to model the behavior of a believer, so clearly that no one in our community (neighborhood and work place especially) will mistook us as unbelievers. Talk alone is nagging. Talking about the principles and modeling the behavior, together they are powerful parenting tools.

On being a parent - Part 1

Recently many people asked me how I did it. Did what? To be so relaxed when my son is sitting the Primary School Leaving Exam (PSLE). It is the norm in Singapore, that when the children are having exams, not to mention major exam like the PSLE, the parents will go on exam mode as well. Singapore parents are known to halt activities, including taking annual leave from work, to stay at home and coach their children prior and during exam week. When I am asked that question, my standard answer was that my children are generally self-motivated and self-directed in their studies and that my expectation of them is simple: for them to do their best. I always tell my children that they are the only ones who will reap the benefit from academic success. Therefore, it's up to them to set their own goals and decide how well they want to be.

After pondering about my standard answer, I realized I did not really provide useful answer. How to get children to be self-motivated and self-directed? There are several ways parents can instill self-motivation and self-direction. The topic has been covered by numerous parenting books. However there is one area that parenting books often do not mention and its the area of faith in God. By faith in God, I don't mean going to Sunday School every Sunday, or being able to say prayers before meal or before bed time. I am talking about the ABC of faith: admit you are a sinner, believe that Jesus paid the price of sin for you, and confess to others about what you believe. A child who knows that Jesus suffered on the cross to save him/her will take life seriously. My children made personal commitment to follow Jesus at an early age: Daniel was 4 and Natasha was 7. Knowing that there is a Father who loves them more than their parents can, who are constantly watching over them, and who always have their best interest in mind cause several things to happen. First, they know that they have been redeemed at a high price and their life is no longer their own, or their parents', but God's. Second, when their parents fail them (let's face it, nobody can be a perfect parent), they have the assurance that they have another Father who is perfect and will never disappoint them. Third, no matter what level learning aptitude God has given them, they know that God has a unique purpose for each one of them. And this knowledge will boost up self-image, comfort those who have special need, and instill grateful hearts to the intelligent ones. My children are not perfect. The sanctification process is ongoing. They are of above average intelligent and need to be constantly reminded that "from everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted much, much more will be asked" (Luke 12:48).

That said, does having faith in God guarantee A* s achievements? What a child can achieve is limited to his/her learning aptitude. You can stretch achievements to a certain extent. But having faith in God motivate them to do their best