On being a parent - Part 1

Recently many people asked me how I did it. Did what? To be so relaxed when my son is sitting the Primary School Leaving Exam (PSLE). It is the norm in Singapore, that when the children are having exams, not to mention major exam like the PSLE, the parents will go on exam mode as well. Singapore parents are known to halt activities, including taking annual leave from work, to stay at home and coach their children prior and during exam week. When I am asked that question, my standard answer was that my children are generally self-motivated and self-directed in their studies and that my expectation of them is simple: for them to do their best. I always tell my children that they are the only ones who will reap the benefit from academic success. Therefore, it's up to them to set their own goals and decide how well they want to be.

After pondering about my standard answer, I realized I did not really provide useful answer. How to get children to be self-motivated and self-directed? There are several ways parents can instill self-motivation and self-direction. The topic has been covered by numerous parenting books. However there is one area that parenting books often do not mention and its the area of faith in God. By faith in God, I don't mean going to Sunday School every Sunday, or being able to say prayers before meal or before bed time. I am talking about the ABC of faith: admit you are a sinner, believe that Jesus paid the price of sin for you, and confess to others about what you believe. A child who knows that Jesus suffered on the cross to save him/her will take life seriously. My children made personal commitment to follow Jesus at an early age: Daniel was 4 and Natasha was 7. Knowing that there is a Father who loves them more than their parents can, who are constantly watching over them, and who always have their best interest in mind cause several things to happen. First, they know that they have been redeemed at a high price and their life is no longer their own, or their parents', but God's. Second, when their parents fail them (let's face it, nobody can be a perfect parent), they have the assurance that they have another Father who is perfect and will never disappoint them. Third, no matter what level learning aptitude God has given them, they know that God has a unique purpose for each one of them. And this knowledge will boost up self-image, comfort those who have special need, and instill grateful hearts to the intelligent ones. My children are not perfect. The sanctification process is ongoing. They are of above average intelligent and need to be constantly reminded that "from everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted much, much more will be asked" (Luke 12:48).

That said, does having faith in God guarantee A* s achievements? What a child can achieve is limited to his/her learning aptitude. You can stretch achievements to a certain extent. But having faith in God motivate them to do their best