With the Right Attitude

In one of my old post, I wrote about how people engaged in self-pity by way of sharing his or her life struggles. I have a friend who is currently fighting breast cancer. She shares her struggle in this blog. Her entry on 25th May gives me a new perspective. She said that by trying to hide her cancer, she actually missed out on opportunity to receive encouragements or to encourage others. And if you read her blog entries, you don't sense any self pity on her part. I guess one's attitude in sharing is important. Before we unveil ourselves, we really need to ask, what will be accomplished by sharing? Will it strengthen ourselves and others? Or will it just derive pity for us or draw everyone's attention to us?

Priority or Optional

This was on a friend's status line: "People said don't make someone your priority, when they only make you an option." Sigh... I have plenty of experience being an "option."

My husband and I open our house for Christmas luncheon every other year. One year we host, another year we accept invitation. We don't have a regular people attending our luncheon. When the answer to an invite, either acceptance or refusal, was delayed, I know that we are just an option. People who take their sweet time to give "yes, we can come" or "no, we can't come" usually want to wait around for a better option. You are called "cadangan" in Indonesian. Essentially, they are saying, they don't have prior engagement, but they are hoping to get a better invitation and keep their option open. They will accept your invitation if the better option did not turn up.

It is saddest whe family treat each other in this manner. Family should give priority to one another even when it is not convenient to do so.

It Takes a Village

An African proverb says, "It takes an entire village to raise a child." Today, on Mothers' Day, I thank God for to my village. It is not easy raising your child away from your family. But God has placed people to be my surrogate family. My village, here it is.

1. Lilies Leksono and Katrin Tobing, they are the ones I called for advice on diaper rash, breast-feeding, and other infant care issues. I wouldn't survive the first year of motherhood without them.
   
2. Marianne Engel, Jill Wedlake, Harriet Moskovit, Liza Miller. These ladies and many more from Boulder First Presbyterian Church are the ones who rejoiced with me at the news of my first pregnancy. They also help put together the most wonderful baby hamper filled with everything a first mum needs.
3. Monna Stirling, Marcia Elliott, Gati Hutapea, for putting up with baby noises during our bible studies.
   
4. The ladies at Margate (Florida) First Presbyterian Church's baby sitting co-op. They are source of reliable baby-sitter and they helped me look after Natasha when I had to go for pre-natal check up during my pregnancy with Daniel.
5. The ladies at Sunrise cell group, Sophia Gan, Lucy Liew, Kathryn Ho, Cara, Susie Ho, Nany Gotze, Angela Chan and many others. We shared, we prayed, and we rejoiced together as mothers.
6. The countless members of IBC family, from Sunday School teachers, AWANA leaders, VBS volunteers, they played an important role in my children's spiritual upbringing. Even now that I am no longer there, they keep an eye on them for me.
   

I feel truly blessed to have these mothers by my side to share the ups and downs of motherhood.

Personal Mission Statement

Many organizations have a mission statement. How about individuals? Shouldn't we have one too? I was challenged to come up with one by a professor recently. She said, your mission statement has to be something so important and relevant to you that when you are held at a gun point, you can still remember it and it still applies. That's a good starting point. I asked myself, if someone held me at a gun point, what would I think about?

While it's not too difficult to come up with a mission statement. The most difficult part is to live one's live, day in and day out towards fulfilling that mission statement. Other people put demands on you and your time until, what's the most important get to be pushed aside. Sometimes, people's expectation and your own desire to do the "expected" things gets in the way.

If I were held at a gun point and facing imminent death, what will I regret most? While I will delight in leaving this world to be with the Lord sooner than expected, without a second thought, I will regret missing the opportunity to continue to guide my children into adulthood, and to grow old together with my husband. It may sound like a cliche, but these three people are the ones God entrusted me with. I believe someday, when I stand in the presence of God, I will be asked to account for what I did with them. Therefore, when and only when I have done right by them, that I, with good conscience, can give my time and energy to other noble activities like serving the church community or other civil organization like AWARE.

The question I ask every day now is, how does what I am doing today fit in with my personal mission. Will choosing to do something means I am pushing aside my life's mission? Recently, on Good Friday, I filled out a commitment card in this manner: I commit myself to stay true to my life mission which are: to bring up Godly children, to be a good help-mate, and to build a strong family. To my friend Peggy, this is why I cannot support you in AWARE.