Where I belong

Recently, the church my husband and I were associated with in Jakarta started a church in Singapore. My intention was to just visit the church once in a while. Maybe once a month so we can drop off some offerings to support the ministry. We have been going to the church every week since its inaugural service. We are now torn between two churches. IBC has been where we have been worshiping and serving for the past 9 years. It is also the church where my children came to know Christ. There is a lot of memories there. It is true though, that despite the number of years we spent there, we somehow failed to develop fast and lasting relationship with another Christian. The cell group I belong to, has disbanded. The women bible study group I was in for 2 years remain just that: people you see once a week for the duration of the class. In short, we never feel truly belong.

These past month of attending GKY gave us a sense of fellowship. The people at GKY truly gave out the message of "Hey, you belong here. Come, join us. You are one of us. " You are never brushed off and made to feel like an interloper.

Why the sudden attack of deep sense of not belonging? Why, after 21 years overseas, the need to belong become stronger? I have lived in Michigan, Colorado, Florida, Taiwan and now Singapore. All along, I never considered going to an Indonesian church. Local church is my first choice because that's Christians should be able to overlook past our differences, shouldn't we?

One of the thing that weigh on my mind is that until now I still don't know whose name to write for emergency contact. When emergency or disaster truly strike, where would help come from? When at Calvin, I had room mates, dorm mates, and inter-varsity fellowship friends. In Boulder, I had the Lumbantoruan, Marianne, Jill, Marcia, and Monna. In Florida, we had Stefanus' colleague and Kelly Meo, our neighbor. In Singapore, we had a bunch of acquaintances, but none that we are close enough to call upon in time of need.

Is it because in the past 10 years, we have been too wrapped up with ourselves? Not so.
Is it because we have not engage in self promotion that we've become forgettable personalities? Maybe.

I sometimes wonder if it is God who is at work, making me acutely feel a human need I have never bothered to consider in the past 21 years because he wants us to be part of GKY's ministry. It's possible.

Am I giving up the idea of a multiculturalism in the church? It will seem so if I leave IBC. What a defeat.