No Room at the Inn

When I first moved to Singapore, I was so upbeat and happy to play the host. However, after a couple of unfortunate visit by rude relatives, I got really fed up.

The holiday season is the time when relatives will be looking for a place to stay in Singapore. Some of them just want to safe money and get a free accommodation. Some genuinely want to spend time with my family and to know us at a deeper level. I am always delighted to have these relatives staying with us. The worst were those who asked us to let them know when we're going on vacation so they could make use of our home for free. Well, actually that was not a bad idea either, but when we did let them stay while we were away, instead of a family of 4 staying in our place, they brought in 6 more people whom we don't know, without telling us.

I am always reminded of the story how Mary and Joseph couldn't find a place at the inn. It's peak season in Singapore. It was peak season in Bethlehem. Mary and Joseph really couldn't find a place they can afford. Whether or not you could afford a holiday in Singapore, here is my advice for those of you intending to stay with relatives:

1. If you have lost contact with your relatives for more than a year, it's probably better to get in touch and have a couple of exchanges via email or phone call first before you even brought up the notion of staying with them.
   
2. Be clear for yourself, what the purpose of the visit is: visiting relative and/or vacation. Spend your time accordingly. If you are doing both, make sure you spent ample time with your relative. If you just want to sight see, stay in the hotel, and make a short half hour visit to your relative or arrange to meet for lunch.
   
3. Inquire if the dates you selected is convenient for your relatives. Better yet, before choosing a date, ask your host what is a good time for a visit, and choose the date together. After all, you are putting them at a great inconvenience.
4. If you are not direct relatives, accept the fact that your prospective host must give priority to their siblings and parents first.
   
5. If you are visiting during a holiday season, try to stick with the agreed plan. After all, your host is banking on spending their holiday time with you, if you cancel, then you'll screw up their plan as well.

Have a pleasant holiday, and be a good guest whether you are staying in a hotel or in a relatives' home.