What went through your mind when you come home after a vacation. Is it "home sweet home" or "back to reality?" How about what your children are thinking? A number of my friends went pulkam (pulang kampung 0r back home) during the last 2 weeks of the holiday season. I wonder whether going back to their childhood home is really as good as they describe it.It's not very difficult to make a home sweet home for young children. Fewer harsh words, more praises, cookies, hugs, and Wii should do it. How about for your adult children? When they come home, do they feel accepted, warm, safe, secure and nurtured? Or do they feel the impending judgment where they feel compelled to make an accounting of their accomplishments and justify the life they are leading now?
I hope my children, when they are grown ups, will find my home, wherever that may be, a safe heaven where they can relax, and recharge. Like a spa maybe. An emotional spa. A place where they can find solace, reassurance, and rest from the turmoil of life.
2 comments:
I think making your adult children feel accepted is the most difficult thing to do. In this day and age, we are bombarded by so much success stories, stories of overachiever children that sometimes you feel like you need to push your children more and more. How do you strive to make them feel accepted while still make or motivate them to do "the best that they can do"?
Where is the line?
Katrin
First, I think children need to be taught to own their life from young, so that when they are grown ups, they are capable of taking care of themselves and be a contributing member of society.
Second, grown up children should be allowed to chart their own course. There is a limit to what a parent can do without putting the relationship into irreparable tensions.
As Christians, I take comfort in knowing that my children are God's. He is more capable to look after them than I do. He loves them more than I do.
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